But God by Naomi Quick | #adoptionstory
Adopting through foster care is a journey that often brings difficulties. I know….because I am there. We adopted our oldest son through foster care when he was almost 5. Although I love my son with every ounce of my being, there have been and continue to be a challenges we have to work to overcome. The hardest part of it all is that the source of the trials we face are all due to the neglect and trauma he experienced at an early age. A time in his life that was completely out of my control. As a momma, that is a tough pill to swallow. That is when the doubts, fears, and questions begin to overwhelm my mind and soul….and I start to wonder how everything is possibly going to work out.
He loves my son more than I do. (And friends, that is A LOT!) He was with my son when I wasn’t. He knows the things I don’t know.
He will give me what I need, when I need it, as I raise the child HE placed in my care!
Today I have the privilege of introducing you to Naomi Quick. She is a fellow blogger that I met through a special Facebook community, By His Grace Bloggers.
I am particularly excited about this #adoptionstory because Naomi and I not only share a passion for adoption, but we also have hearts for foster care. The beautiful testimony she shares with you today was such an encouragement to me personally! I needed this guest post for myself…but I know it will also be a great encouragement to others out there!!
No matter what is going on in your life. Just remember: God is faithful and He will see you through!
The forwarded email arrived at the beginning of December. I was a work at home, homeschooling momma juggling a ten-month-old, two preschoolers, and two school-aged children. Our lives were full, exciting, and maybe just a tad chaotic.
“In case you’re ready…” was the only line in the email. A good friend, who I met during our first adoption from foster care, had forwarded a flier for a little guy our state was recruiting a family for. I laughed hysterically, and immediately texted her.
“Is this your way of offering to deliver coffee and provide child care for the next ten years? Because, clearly, it would be absolutely crazy for us to add a toddler to the mix here!”
When my husband arrived home from work, I told him about the e-mail, laughing the entire time. He looked straight at me and asked if I wanted to move forward in finding out more information. Suddenly, I wasn’t laughing.
“I don’t know. Can we handle this? Is this something we should even consider?”
Meeting Our Son
After much prayer and discussion, we asked for more information. It seemed unlikely that his worker would consider our bustling family! But God.
15 days later, we were sitting in the living room of his foster mom. A woman who had cared for him since he had come home from the hospital! She told us all about his routines, favorite foods, and personal strengths. She explained detailed information about his past, his present care, and some of the best things we could provide to make his future bright.
Shortly after Christmas, he visited our home for the first time. Our children welcomed him with excited hugs and declarations of him being home! He snuggled in for a story, along with several other kids, on my lap. Despite a good first visit, given his history, we believed the transition would be a long one. But God.
Growing, Learning & Changing
Twelve short days passed, and our son was home for good! The timeline in hearing this little boy needed a family, to us becoming his family, was something only God could have orchestrated! 35 days from seeing his smiling face for the first time, to seeing it every single day. It was a miracle.
Shortly after he came home, it became increasingly clear that he missed his foster mom. His little heart was hurting, and that made it difficult to have a relationship with me – his Mommy. He called me Mommy from the first overnight visit he had – but it was just a name the other kids used. It was a benign identifier, not an affectionate role. I questioned my parenting and abilities. There were times I wondered if I could provide this little boy with everything he needed to thrive. But God.
Seeing God’s hand, miraculously at work, in the beginning of our adoption process was imperative to remembering that God had orchestrated our son joining our family. Not only was it His will, but He had moved mountains to make it happen. Looking back, I believe He did it in such a way that we could see His glorious grace, and be reminded that He who began a good work would bring it to completion.
We finalized our son’s adoption exactly one year after he came home. It has been a process of growing, learning, and changing for each of us. There have been seasons of great joy – reaching milestones, finding connection, and witnessing God’s faithfulness! There have also been seasons of trials – walking through grief, loss, and trauma; fighting for answers to questions we didn’t know existed. But God.
Our Faithful God
Truly, He has been in it all. Even in the moments when I’ve been in over my head – uncertain of where help would come from – He has been right there. Always faithful. Never leaving or forsaking. Forever working things for His glory and our good.
Friend, I don’t know what season you find yourself in. Perhaps you’re considering adoption and researching as much as you can. Maybe you’ve been waiting for what seems like forever to be matched. Your child may have just come home, or possibly been home for years! Whatever the case may be, this I can promise you: God is faithful. In the beautiful, He is faithful. In the hard, He is faithful. Because faithful isn’t just what He does, it’s who He is.
He doesn’t begin a story to leave a cliffhanger. He is the author and perfecter of our faith. He is steady, and the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Truths to Remember
It can be so easy to allow our circumstances to dictate our emotions. But truthfully, it is our perspective of our circumstances that determines our emotion. Are we looking for God in our season of struggle? Are we reframing our hardship in the light of His grace?
I know I don’t always. Some days, I wallow. I wallow in the hard and begrudge the challenge. It never has to do with my love for God or our family – but it most certainly has to do with my selfishness. I have learned there are practical, helpful, healthy ways to make sure that I am healthy and whole – so that I can help my children find health and wholeness, as well! But, admittedly there are times when my attitude becomes ungrateful and my words are complaints. It is then, that these key truths are more important than ever:
- I have to remember that this story is one He is writing.
- I should be honored to live out the role He’s written for me!
- In moments of trial, I have to intentionally focus on the pure and lovely – to set my eyes upon Jesus – and remember that there is always a but God, if I’m willing to look for it!
I would love to connect with and pray for you – whatever season you are in, whatever but God you are looking for!
Naomi loves Jesus. She is married to her best friend, John. They have six amazing, beautiful kids, two of whom have been adopted from the foster care system. Naomi homeschools their tribe of world changers. She is a type-A, list-making, change-fearing girl living an adventure that demands flexibility, spontaneity, and constant change! Through her words, she prays you’ll find something that points your heart to the Dream Giver and the Author of each of our stories – Jesus.
Naomi is the author of Don’t Waste Your Wait: Embracing the Journey of Bringing Your Child Home. She writes over at her site, Living Out 127, and has done a number of speaking engagements and trainings for prospective and current adoptive and foster families.
Do Your Part
Everyone can take part of God’s mission for orphans. Below you will find some ways you can help. Today’s suggestions focus on families who have adopted through foster care.
Take a moment to pray for Naomi and her family. Pray for all families who have adopted children through foster care. Pray for:
- the adoptive families: adopting a child from hard places can often take a toll emotionally, mentally, and spiritually
- their spirit and heart as the waiting process can be full of ups and downs.
- them as they cling to the Father through the challenges
- Opportunities for self care – care taking can take a toll emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically
- For comfort, peace and friendships – taking care of a child with from hard places can often be a lonely journey
- For their marriage
- the child God will place in their care
- adjustment through transitions
- birth parents: the birth parents of foster children usually have challenges they are working through which is the reason their child was placed in foster care
- them as they work through and conquer their personal challenges
- peace and comfort as they grieve the loss of their child.
- organizations and agencies involved in working with foster children
- doctors, therapists, counselors, and teachers who are part of the care team
Those who adopt through foster care often need support for the long haul.
- Talk to organizations and ministries that support and minister to adoptive parents. Find out how you can get involved.
- Volunteer to babysit for a family who has adopted a child through foster care.
- Provide a meal every so often just to help out (Often parents with children from hard places often have a number of appointments throughout the week. Find out a day that is especially full.)
- Lead your church is “adopting” an adoptive family. Many times, there are post adoption challenges families face that many are unaware of. See how you can love and support a family you know that has adopted.
- Check out the concept of “Care Communities” by Project 686. This is a GREAT way to create a support system for foster and adoptive families.
- Help share adoption stories on social media. Go ahead and begin advocating today, by sharing Naomi’s story!
- Connect with me on instagram and Facebook and share quotes, videos, statistics, stories, and prayer requests.
Maybe you sense God calling you to adopt, check out the Adopt US Kids to learn more about all of the children available for adoption in the United States.
More ideas for getting involved with orphan care can be found here.
Want to read another #adoptionstory and find out ways you can get involved? Take some time to read these:
Caleb and Kaila’s #adoptionstory: Clinging to the Father in the Wait
Jake and Shay’s #adoptionstory: Q&A about Adoption
Kristin Hill Taylor’s #adoptionstory: How Open Adoption Built My Faith
Sarah Frazer’s #adoptionstory: 3 Ways Adoption Built My Faith
Cheri Dee Johnson’s #adoptionstory: Why Adoptive Families Need a Support System
Ben and Kristi Graves #adoptionstory: Funding Our Adoption
Follow along every Tuesday and Thursday during the month of November!
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Looking for some more encouragement? Check out some of the blogs where I link up throughout the week here.